If - like me - in 2020 you've made the decision start looking after both your mind and your body a little more then - like me - you might need a little inspiration, motivation and guidance to get you going.

Luckily, there's an abundance of resources available for free at our fingertips these days and one of my favourite ways to soak up new information has been to listen to podcasts. I was never really a podcast person but over the last 6 months have really begun to enjoy them, especially whilst driving to and from work (as each journey is around 40 mins each).

I thought I would share you with the 5 podcasts I think you need in your life if you're looking to take control of your health and wellness this year, let me know if you take a listen to any of these and I'd love to know your thoughts!

4. Going For Goal
This 'cast is created by Women's Health and is brand new for 2020. The host, Roisin Dervish-O'Kane interviews leading nutrition, fitness and psychology experts each week to discuss their personal strategies for success.

3. Deliciously Ella
You might have seen Ella's products in the health aisle at your fave supermarket, well the health food guru also has a podcast and each episode she discusses a variety of important subjects with various experts from the importance of sleep, how and why we love, sexual health along with discussing food myths & facts!

2. Give Me Strength
Personal trainer Alice Liveing interviews extraordinary women during her podcasts episodes with each one delving into the importance of building mental and physical resilience and how this can empower us to be healthier and happier.

1. Food For Thought
This is my favourite podcast to listen to by far, created by certified nutritionist Rhiannon Lambert (aka Rhitrition), it discusses all of the important myths and subjects around health. She dives into the myths around carbs being bad for you (spoiler, they're not), Intermittent Fasting & so much more. I love Rhi's perspective and everything ultimately comes down to a healthy relationship with food.

Let me know what your favourite podcasts are as I'm always on the look out for something new to listen to! :) 

3 Ways To Manage Christmas Madness

As much as I love Christmas, I'd be lying if I said it didn't stress me the eff out sometimes.

Luckily this year we're not having to host at all over the Christmas period - last year I literally bought a new fridge/freezer to accommodate all of the food and drink - so there's a little less to think about in that respect, however there's still parties, presents & plans to make and organise so it can all get a little much.

 Last year when we were planning Christmas Day and Boxing Day at our house I discovered some useful tips & tricks to help manage the madness at Christmas time and I thought I'd share them with you in case - like me - you also lose your mind a little during the festive period!

 1. Remember it is JUST Christmas 

Yeah, this is a big one that my boyfriend has to regularly drill into me every time I fall into a mad panic around the first week of December. It's easy to put a lot of pressure on yourself to have everything just-so and perfect (hello, my name's Lauren and I'm a little neurotic about planning things...) but just remember what Christmas should really be about and that's spending quality time with your loved ones.

2. Plan effectively & make a list or two

Through my day job I discovered a really fantastic, free web-based programme called Trello. It's essentially an on-line To-Do list and you can create different boards and place cards in each board. 

Below is a screenshot of my Trello board for Christmas 2018, it really helped me to organise and prioritise hings and I could move things to a 'DONE' board once they were purchased or complete which was VERY satisfying. Trello also have an app which I downloaded to my phone so I could check what I needed on-the-go. 

However, if you're not a fan of a digital list then go old school, make a similar style list in a notebook or diary and keep track that way. Everything looks so much simpler when it's written out in front of you.

3. Take Some Time To Yourself

You know the motto 'treat yo'self'? Well blooming well listen to it! Don't forget to look after yourself and your mental well-being this Christmas. Christmas isn't worth losing your mind over so book yourself in at the hair/nail salon, grab those drinks with your colleagues or friends after work and enjoy this time of year!

How We Decorate For Christmas

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! Oh how I blooming love Christmas-time, I love the food, I love the family time and I reaaaally love putting up our Christmas decorations.

I reigned myself in this year (slightly) because last year I had the decorations up during the last week of November - please don't judge me, it was my first time having my own living room to decorate and the creative freedom was just too much for me, I couldn't contain myself! This year I held out until the weekend of the 1st December and thought I'd share with you some of the decorations I put up to get us in the festive spirit!

Our tree is an artificial one from Notcutts Garden Centre. When I lived at home with my parents we often got a real tree each year however to be more environmentally friendly both my Mum and I have purchased an artificial tree each which will hopefully last us for a good few years. As we have a slightly unconventionally shaped living room we opted for a taller, narrower tree but i still love how full and realistic it looks.

When it comes to tree decorations I am ALL about the sentiment. 80% of the decorations on our tree are ones from my family home which my Mum kindly donated to us when we had our first Christmas in this house last year. We've always had the same decorations on our family Christmas tree for as long as I've been alive so it's really special to now have some of those on our tree. 

I've purchased a few more decorations too and our tree is super personal to us with Sandy Claws making an appearance along with some personalised baubles. I love decorations with a difference as you can see I have a few brussel sprout decorations along with owls, birds, a llama and a sloth. Like i said, unconventional!

This year I'm very spoilt with three different advent calendars. We have a large fabric one which was a gift from my parents and they've very kindly put chocs in each pocket! I also have a Cadbury calendar (a time old tradition which I simply refuse to break) and a L'Occitane Advent Calendar which was a present from Rob. Honestly one of my favourite things about December is waking up and remembering my advent calendar's need opening - it gets me through the morning before work!

I hope you've enjoyed taking a little look through the keyhole into our festive living room, I will be sharing more photos over on my Instagram @laurenefell as we go through the month of December and I would love to see photos of your Christmas decs so please follow and tag me in your pics! 

Glyndebourne Christmas Concert | New Victoria Theatre, Woking

Last night I was kindly invited to Glyndebourne's Christmas Concert at the New Victoria Theatre in Woking. I'd never seen an orchestra performance before and took my Mum along with me for a festive evening and we had a fantastic time so just wanted to share some of my thoughts with you all!

Glyndebourne Tour Orchestra and Chorus performed a fantastic mix of opera highlights, Christmas carols & yuletide classics last night with the opportunity to sing along at the end to a Christmas medley which was bloomin' epic although I won't be auditioning for the Chorus anytime soon...

To be completely honest, watching an opera/orchestra/chorus wasn't something I thought I'd ever do or really enjoy but I was completely surprised by how much I enjoyed the entire show. You'd probably be taken aback how many famous opera songs you'd recognise from TV and adverts just like I was and some of them are so emotive and atmospheric you really get sucked in. It was actually the perfect remedy after a long day's work and it really put me in the Christmas spirit. 

If you're a fan of opera then Glyndebourne are at the theatre tonight (29 Nov) for a performance of Handel's Rinaldo and and tomorrow (30 Nov) for Verdi's Rigoletto. Tickets can be purchased here. 

New Victoria Theatre in Woking is one of my favourite theatre's and I've seen so many shows there over the years from pantomime's to Derren Brown, Blood Brothers to Michael McIntyre! They have such an awesome selection of performances to check out throughout the year with some of the biggest shows stopping off at Woking on their tours.

  Check out their full programme of Dec 2019 and 2020 here!

*Tickets to this show were kindly gifted by the theatre. 

Managing a Bad Mental Health Day (or two!)

As I write this post I'm not sure if I'm frustrated, downtrodden, disappointed, determined or what. I think I'm probably actually a concoction of all of those things because for the first time in quite a while I feel like I'm suffering from a 'bad patch' aka my anxiety is being a bugger at the moment and I'm having a little internal battle to stop it from taking back control.

This is the ultimate test for me really, my counselling journey came to an end a few months ago now and I've been on this ride all alone (without my counsellor to turn to I mean, my partner, friends and fam have been incredible) and I've been chugging along quite nicely up until now.

I have zero idea what triggered this anxiety attack. I actually think it might have been the amount of alcohol I consumed at a Halloween party, I don't drink very often now and although I was a nice kind of drunk I didn't consider the effects alchohol could have had on my mental health. I felt drained the next day and by the time I'd driven the 3 hours back down South I was physically and mentally exhausted. Little things were irritating me - a sure sign of anxiety for me - and I ended up devastatingly annoyed and upset at my boyfriend for starting to watch a movie without me whilst I was away that I wanted to watch together. I know. Tell me about it.

I felt really sensitive to comments and I took everything personally and to heart - something I'd not done for a while. The good thing was I now recognised those triggers and am currently doing my best to manage my feelings. I thought I'd share with you some things that are helping me right now.

Acknowledging How You Feel

This is important. My anxiety is hard to explain and hard to justify, I can rarely put my finger on exactly what triggered it so I just have to do my best to accept that and acknowledge that the brain works in mysterious ways (especially when it's tired and in my case from the weekend - hungover).

Don't try to argue or fight the way you feel. The sooner you accept it for what it is the sooner you can put your techniques and tools in place to move on through it so you can carry on with living and loving life!

Try To Rationalise

'Wow Lauren, try to rationalise when I have severe anxiety, good one!' Trust me, I knoooow. It's hard and it's especially hard when you're in the midst of the 'end of the world' according to your anxiety and making sense of anything and rationalising can seem impossible but it's 100% worth a good shot.

Ask yourself whether the thoughts you're having are based on fact or feeling. 9/10 these will be 'feelings'. If you were to ask me on a bad anxiety day you'd think I was Mystic Meg by the amount of made-up thoughts and feelings I'm 'sure' of. I'm actually not sure about any of them because they're all just my feelings, they're not facts.

Trust Yourself

For me, tackling my anxiety pretty much all boils down to the same thing; trusting myself. Trusting that I'm a good person, a good partner, strong, capable etc. I've been through some tough times and I handled them really, really well, so why am I so worried about possibly facing another tough time that hasn't actually happened and may never happen?! Who knows. 'Tis the nature of the beast I think and it has a good way of making you doubt yourself.

Don't Give Up Your Healthy Routine

This is a hard one for me. As soon as my anxiety hits I want to stay in bed all day, eat crap and watch Netflix. It's my happy place and it's comforting, that's fair enough but I also know it's not going to make me feel any better in a hurry.

Stick to your healthy diet, don't cancel that gym class, go to that bar with your friends if you can, in the long run it will help. I find that for me, the guilt of letting myself go just because I'm having a bad mental health day contributes to the way I'm feeling, it fuels the fire! I don't want to give it that power so even if I'm not 100% feeling it I will drag myself to that gym class - give me all that seratonin!


Look at anxiety for what it is, it's a mental health condition (if you will) which does a good job at trying to make us worry about every possible eventuality so it can 'prepare' us for potential trauma or threats. It's not a 'sixth sense' - something I have to tell myself constantly because I'm terrible at being convinced my anxiety is my 'gut feeling' so it must be right! It's not.

The best thing I can do for myself is repeatedly tell myself I've been here before, I might be here again but I made it through before and I'll make it through again. We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for so just remember that the next time you're faced with a bad mental health day, week, month or even year. It will pass.

When Life Interupts...

It's been a crazy few weeks. If you checked my planner you'd see all the blog posts & content I had planned for the last couple of weeks and unfortunately I've not been able to get one post written or uploaded, why? Well, life happened!

I love my blog and I love creating content but it is a very nice distraction from the trials and tribulations that life can throw at you and unfortunately I just wasn't able to distract myself this time, I was needed at home and I was more than happy to let a few blog posts slip by in order to be supportive when I needed to be.

A week-long trip to Center Parcs with Rob and my family was meant to inspire a lot of content for the blog but in reality I very much needed it as a break from my phone and I just needed to spend time with my loved ones, to recharge and rejuvenate a little.

I'm hoping I will get the chance to visit Center Parcs again soon in order to create the content and share with you what an amazing place it was, we got up to so much including archery and falconry.

I'm already back on it though and I'm looking to create some great content over the next couple of weeks including a brand post with Big Potato Games (because if Autumn/Winter aren't board game seasons then WHAT ARE?!).

Apologies for going quiet over the last couple of weeks but I'm sure all of you can understand - thanks for sticking with me and keep an eye out for some awesome content coming your way!

xo Lauren

Clean Eating Peanut Butter Energy Balls

This post features products kindly gifted by  BuyWholeFoodsOnline.co.uk - these are marked with an asterisk (*). 

There's always this tricky amount of time between finishing work around 5pm and starting my gym classes around 6ish where I need to fuel up for my gym class but also definitely dont have time to prepare or cook anything remotely substantial - that's where my beloved peanut butter energy balls come into it!

These lil guys are ridiculously easy and quick to throw together (and even more ridiculously easy to eat because they're so delicious). They're the perfect fix for some protein and energy before doing any exercise or just when you want a snack throughout the day. 

Ingredients (makes 12 balls):

• 85g creamy/smooth peanut butter
• 60g dark chocolate chips (or milk, whichever you prefer)
• 128g oats
• 60g chia or Organic Shelled Hemp seeds* (i've used 30g of each in this recipe)
• 2 tablespoons of Raw Wild Flower Bulgarian Honey* - I can't tell you how GOOD this smells.
• optional: handful of dried fruits (I was kindly sent some Dried Cranberries* but left them out this time round to keep the size of the balls smaller!)

How To Make Them:

• Place all the ingredients in a bowl (told you it was easy) and stir well to mix them together. 
• Place the mix in the fridge for 15-20 minutes so they're easier to roll. 
• Roll the mixture into 12 bites (or however you want to make depending on the size you want 'em) and store them in the fridge until you're ready to scoff them!

Benefits of Hemp Seeds:

I've added Organic Shelled Hemp Seeds* to this recipe because they're just so damn nutritious for you and these are a few reasons why:

• great source of protein
• high in fibre
• full of vitamins and minerals including magnesium (which will make our bodies very happy!)
• rich in fatty acids

About BuyWholeFoodsOnline

One of the things I love about BWFO (besides their HUGE selection of organic and whole foods obvs) is that at heart they are a family-run business start from really humble beginnings with founders and cousins Arthur and Joe setting up shop in their shed!

Having outgrown each warehouse and location they moved to due to the growing success of the business they finally settled in a whopping 25,000 square foot warehouse in Ramsgate in 2016 and that's where they've been ever since!

Hello Fresh: The Pros & Cons

Years after the rest of the world have tried it, we finally decided to give Hello Fresh a go, hurrah! Or maybe not so hurrah? I have majorly mixed feelings about Hello Fresh after giving our first recipe a go earlier this week and thought I'd share my thoughts with you all and basically just weigh up the pros and cons of Hello Fresh.

So for those who don't know, Hello Fresh is a recipe subscription box which sends you 5 pre-packaged fresh meals in all the right measurements and amounts for you to cook yourself by following their simple instruction card.

We definitely had a mixed experience with our first Hello Fresh box and I wanted to share my thoughts on the Pro's and Cons of ordering from Hello Fresh.

CON: It's quite pricey for what it is

Not to start off on a negative note but this is one of the main reasons why we decided to try Hello Fresh, to save money on our weekly shop. The good news (which, sorry, doesn't warrant its' own PRO bullet point) is that you can get lots of discount codes online for your first box but after that it comes in at around £41.99 for five meals, so that's not including weekends for us. When we thought about what we'd need to add onto our 5 meals (things like treats, snacks, lunches etc) it didn't make our weekly spend any less overall.

PRO: The recipe cards are simple to follow so everyone can have a go

We take it in turns cooking in our house but it does mean that there are certain meals that we've nailed individually and have become our signature dishes so we don't share the recipes for these and as I'm out quite a few nights a week I have to plan meals for our weekly shop that Rob is confident at cooking whilst I'm out. With Hello Fresh anyone can grab the ingredients and pick up the easy-to-follow card so no worries about having to leave instructions or being restricted on what you can plan for meals.

CON: If there are ingredients missing you could be stuffed

We tried the loaded beef mexican wedges recipe last night and it turned out delicious - thankfully that's because I had a carton of passata and some garlic granules in the cupboard because the package was missing the passata and a garlic clove. If i'd not had any passata in then we'd not have been able to make that recipe at all so that's slightly frustrating. As someone who likes to plan and prep I find it a little tricky to put my food shop/plan in someone else's hands!

PRO: There are lot of different boxes to choose from 

Whether you're vegetarian, trying to stick to a high-protein diet, cooking for 4 or cooking for children Hello Fresh offer a wide selection of boxes and they even offer a quick-cook box with recipes that take 20 minutes or less to prep and cook which can be great if you're in a a hurry each evening!

CONS: The recipes aren't low-fat enough for us 

This will of course differ from person to person but recently we've been loving Slimming World recipes and although soured cream and full fat cheddar tastes real good I know in the long run it's not going to be much good for my waistline!

Personally, I don't think that we'll stick to Hello Fresh going forward, it's been great to give it a go and experience it and the meals have been delicious but I think for us planning our meals and doing a weekly shop each week is just easier for us and cheaper in the long run!

If you're thinking of giving Hello Fresh a go then have a google for some discount codes, some are offering 50% off so this is the perfect opportunity to trial it out!

The Ordinary Skincare: Is It Worth The Hype?

I posted on my Instagram a few weeks ago that I'd treated myself to a few products from The Ordinary range and said that I'd give you a review once I'd given them a go properly so here we are!

I've never been great at skincare or looking after my skin (despite having really awful breakouts during my teenage years so I know I'm a bit silly) but over the last couple of years I've really begun to take some care over my skin and invest in some great products to give it a helping hand.

The first great thing about The Ordinary products is just how affordable they are, they're available on the Boots UK website and when you compare them to some other brands in the same area they just come out tops really on great reviews vs cost and affordability. 

I have started out my collection with three products which I'll go through below in more detail but I had a very small checklist of things I wanted these products to tackle, they were pore-minimising, smoothing, evening out skin tone, keeping my skin blemish-free and reducing any hyper pigmentation. I spent a lot of time looking at reviews and descriptions of each product, as you'll see they're named after their solutions so it's really important to see what will work for you.

Their website is super informative though and it helped me massively to find a small collection of products which would work for me and my skin. Below is what I opted for, please keep in mind I have quite blemish-prone, combination skin. 

Ascorbyl Glucoside Solution 12%, £8.90

I knew when I was looking through all The Ordinary products that I wanted a Vitamin-C product. I have quite dull skin and it could sometimes make me look really washed-out and even poorly as it really lacked any brightness or glow! 

This product is a brightening serum with an antioxidant to reduce signs of ageing and even out skin tone  - bingo! Ascorbyl Glucoside is classed as one of the best Vitamin C derivatives and this is a solution which is water-based so easily applied and doesn't feel harsh at all on my skin.

Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1%, £5.00

This product is a dream come true for oily skin. It targets breakouts and minimises pores by regulating the amount of sebum (oil) that your skin produces. Its' two main ingredients Niacinamide and Zinc are two of the best blemish-battling ingredients out there so for me it ticked a lot of boxes!

I've found this solution slightly sticky initially but this soon wears off and I can really feel the smoothing effects, my skin doesn't feel at all oily when I use it but it definitely doesn't dry my skin out by any means either, so winner winner!

Alpha Arbutin 2% + HA, £7.00

The final product I opted for is one that targets hyper-pigmentation. If you're not sure what that is, hyper-pigmentation can be any dark patches or spots on your skin, for example they're quite common on the upper lip (which can sometimes give the awful illusion of a moustache) but can show up anywhere. This product has a high potentcy of Alpha Arbutin which tackles these tricky spots to reveal more even, younger-looking skin!

I've 100% noticed a difference since using a combination of the above in my daily routine, my skin is so much brighter and I've gone many days without wearing make-up now due to how much more calm and even my skin-tone is looking. My dark spots aren't as noticeable at all and my skin just has a much healthier look and glow about it. 

Make sure you use the brand's handy regime tool to work out which products you can and can't miss, when to apply them and what they're good for!

Learning To Be Honest With Myself (and others!)

It's a funny thing, honesty. I like to pride myself on being an honest person, I'm very open and don't have any difficulty usually telling someone how I feel about something as long as I still be kind and polite about it but actually when I thought long and hard about it there were some times that I really wasn't very honest and it didn't do me many favours.

I'm not talking about lying or cheating or anything like that, I'm talking about the times that we're not super honest with ourselves and maybe the small lies or fibs we tell others to fit in or to feel like we belong.

When I first met my boyfriend I soon realised we had different interests and hobbies, he was big into heavy metal music and extreme sports such as mountain biking. I was a self-confessed nerd who liked graphic design and YouTube and the amount of exercise I did when we first met was zilch so I soon worried that we'd start to realise that we didn't have much in common.

My anxiety can make me doubt myself a lot and although being able to code, design a website or a logo and being massively into zombie and paranormal TV shows actually made me a really interesting person, I just couldn't see it myself.

I started to feel the need to like what he liked so I could justify us being together (when really our identical values and principles in life are exactly why we're so happy and are perfect for each other). There were some awful days out where I'd suggest bike rides because I know how much he'd love them which ended with me crying because I was in so much pain from renting awful bikes from little hire shops and forcing myself to keep going when I really didn't want to.

Everything changed when I started to be more honest with myself and to have confidence in my choices and decisions. I started to feel OK with saying 'you know what, I hated that bike ride, I'd rather go somewhere a bit easier where I can ride in my own time and enjoy the views' etc. To no-one's surprise, my boyfriend was absolutely ok with that - and of course he would be, but my anxiety had kind of convinced me he wouldn't be.

Being honest with both myself and him has made things a lot easier, we still go for bike rides now - we just got back from one today actually which is what inspired me to write this post. I tell him how far I'm happy to go and we plan routes together, we take regular breaks if I need them and most importantly we enjoy it.

It can be hard to not want to say 'yes' or agree to things to feel like you fit in or belong but in the long run you have to ask yourself what the benefit of lying to yourself and someone else is? Usually there isn't a benefit and you'll begin to see the benefits when you start accepting yourself and have confidence in your own choices.

I Tried Aromatherapy To Help Me Chill The F Out

As someone that's suffered with anxiety for many years, chilling out isn't really something I've ever been good at. It hasn't really mattered what I've done whether it be yoga or meditation, my brain just won't shut the hell up for much longer than 20 seconds and I really struggle to completely relax or switch off.

I didn't quite realise just how bad I was at relaxing until I made an appointment for a lymphatic drainage massage and after half an hour of a fantastic massage my therapist Joanna at TruthPie told me that she could tell that I struggled to completely unwind. I almost felt caught out but she reassured me that she thought another therapy would suit me better; aromatherapy. I'm not going to lie, I didn't really have a clue what aromatherapy entailed but agreed to give a session ago.

So we started by picking oils that would a) be good for stress and anxiety and b) that I actually liked because Joanna said that it can differ from session to session and your body will react differently to different oils depending on what it needs at the time.

The three oils which appealed to me the most were Ylang Ylang (good for relaxation), Myrtle (great for fatigue) and Eucalyptus Staigeriana (which is really useful for easing any aches and pains). Joanna then used a mixture of these for the massage itself.

She spent an hour working these essential oils into my skin in a medium-pressure massage, she worked out some knots and tension in my upper back and shoulders before moving onto my legs individually, feet, arms, hands and then my neck. It was a really relaxing experience although I found my mind still buzzing every now and again but I tried really hard to clear my head and just relax to get the most of the massage.

Joanna gave me a mix of the oils to take home to add to my bath, so I'm really excited to give that a go and see if I feel as mellowed as I do right now as I write this blog post!

If you're thinking of trying aromatherapy then I would 100% recommend it as it's a therapy that's tailored to you, your mind and your body and what it needs. Don't forget that self-care needs to be your top priority and we need to nurture our minds and bodies alike.

A Day Out At Warwick Castle

Whilst I was having a browse through my emails on Saturday morning, one from Wowcher popped up that caught my eye, 48% off Warwick Castle tickets - erm, don't mind if i do!

I haven't visited the castle for years! I went once as a child on the way back from Alton Towers to break up the journey down South and loved it, I'm a big history buff and have always particularly enjoyed the gruesome side of a medieval castle, those people were savage.

I snapped up two tickets and we headed up on Sunday. The vouchers from Wowcher were fantastic, instead of £30pp we paid just over £15pp which was a whopping discount and they were valid everyday from July until October 2019, including summer hols and weekends which is very rare for a discount ticket usually!

We arrived shortly after 11am and parking was a little way from the entrance, there is disabled parking much closer but the main overflow car park is around a 20 minute walk from entrance, fine for us as two adults but something to bear in mind if you have little ones in tow! The car park also costs £6, you can purchase a token at the entrance/exit or you can pay by card at the barrier.

I Tried £1 Contact Lenses!

I've been a contact lens wearer for years now, I needed glasses in secondary school and after a year or so of losing/breaking them my Mum took me to the opticians to try out contacts lenses. I was both excited and terrified of the prospect; yes, I'd be able to see without glasses BUT would they get lost in my eyeball forever, is there a chance I'd put them in and never get them out again?!

My worries partially came to fruition when the optician put me in my first pair of lenses, wow, it was amazing and off I trotted home so pleased with myself until I tried to take them out later that day and couldn't. I had to go back to the opticians so she could actually get them out of my eyes. Despite this I persisted and now all these years later I'm still a daily contact lens wearer.

The only downside to this is the price of the freaking things. Around 10 years ago my optician changed my contact lenses due to my eyes feeling super prickly and dry and alas, she put me onto the most expensive variety on offer which set me back a whopping £44 each month - for something disposable that gets lobbed in the bin every night, I know!

So over the last few months I've been on the hunt for a cheaper alternative for lenses and came across Hubble. I'd seen all the ads on Instagram and thought you know what, for £1 I'll give it a go.

Saving For A House: Our Plan

It's quite a daunting thought to commit to saving for a house, initially we were both a little overwhelmed by the prospect of maybe not having holidays or being able to splash out over the next few years but as we continue to fork out thousands each month for rent and utilities it was a no-brainer, we desperately want a place to call our own!

We're in the very early stages of saving but I did a lot of research on the best ways for us to save and looked into all the options available to us so I thought I'd share some of my thoughts and findings you with incase you're in a similar position or hope to be in the future.

Visting Mottisfont, Hampshire

So like the 90-year-old granny that I actually am on the inside, my mum and I became National Trust members a few weeks ago as we just bloody love to mooch round old stately homes, castles and gardens to soak up the history. We've already worked our way through 3 properties on their extensive list of properties to visit and I thought I'd share some snaps with you from Mottisfont, the location we visited today.

I've not shared any photos of inside the house as I wouldn't want to spoil it for anyone who's thinking of visiting anytime soon but there are some beautiful walled gardens and walkways to enjoy all over the property so I would really recommend making a trip there if you're down South.

Visiting Ilfracombe, Devon

So this post is little (read: three months, oops) overdue but it was such a beautiful break away I have been meaning to write this post for a while now so I can share some of our recommendations and tips with you incase you're heading down that way any time soon.

We booked our trip to Hele Bay, Ilfracombe after looking for somewhere to get away for New Years - because neither of us are huge NYE fans and we really just wanted to shut ourselves away somewhere for a few days, eat lots of nice food and go on nice walks. Devon was our first choice as it's around three hours drive from where we live (and a nice scenic drive at that, very little motorway driving involved) and we stayed at a Hoseason's location; Beach Cove Coastal Retreat.

Beach Cove Coastal Retreat consists of a small number of one-bedroom (so perfect for couples) beach-hut style accommodations which are all located right on the beach front. You can see them in their pretty pastel colours all along the wall in the picture below.

We arrived at night so had no idea just how close we were to the seafront. Unfortunately, the cabin we had been booked into seemed to be overrun by cluster flies (don't Google if you don't like creepy crawlies) which apparently were lured in by the abnormally mild winter we'd had here and also they love the water so there wasn't much they could do in terms of keeping them away. The staff at Beach Cove were super helpful though and came in and got rid of as many flies as they could but as soon as one disappeared another three buzzed in from somewhere else. 

Luckily, we ended up being relocated to another property on the site which didn't have any flies whatsoever so we were able to finally settle in for the night. Waking up the next morning was incredible, we'd not seen the view but we could hear the crashing waves as we slept so we knew we were close. I enjoyed my favourite breakfast of avocado toast and a cuppa whilst enjoying all the dog walkers taking their fluffs for a stroll along the sand early in the morning. 

It's a very quite part of Devon, with only a handful of attractions in the area (one being Exmoor Zoo which we loved and would 100% recommend if you're in the area) so if you like a lot to do this might not be the place for you. We decided to hike up the large hill next to the retreat into the small fishing town of Ilfracombe which was a stunning cliff top walk with amazing views over the retreat where we stayed. At that time of year my fitness levels are at their lowest and I did struggle a little (it was mortifying, there were elderly people walking their dogs who were overtaking me...) with the steeper parts of the hill but it was well worth it for the view at the top over the town/bay.

We ended up eating in Ilfracombe on New Years Eve at a restaurant that I'd booked way back in August (as it was tiny and I imagined it would get booked up so quickly). I was right, it was full from 7pm and that's because the food was insanely good. Seventy One is a family run restaurant and hands down the three courses I had there were probably three of the best I've ever had anywhere. If you visit Ilfracombe then you simply must check it out for dinner.

The bay is a great area to walk around too, we didn't know before we visited but it's actually where the artist Damien Hurst is from and there's a huge statue he commissioned which is located on the fishing pier, probably not the sort of thing you'd imagine in a quiet Devon town but definitely worth a look at. He also has a restaurant on the seafront too I believe so if you're a fan that's worth checking out. As we were out of season a lot of the attractions such as the aquarium and a lot of the shops were all shut for the winter but I can imagine in the peak of summer it's a lovely place to visit.

On our way home we passed Stonehenge so spent our New Years Day there which was interesting. It was busy even on New Years Day and there were a lot of tourists so I think it's safe to say whenever you visit expect it to be crowded. There's a bus which runs up to the site itself but we chose to walk up to the stones which is well sign-posted from the visitor centre.

I hope you've enjoyed this post about our visit to Devon - if you have any questions then feel free to comment below and let me know if you're planning to visit anytime soon too!

Believing That Good Is Good Enough

I wrote a blog post not so long ago now about my counselling journey so far (it's here if you'd like to read it) and wanted to share one of my most recent experiences at a session regarding thinking my best isn't good enough.

This feeling stemmed from an experience last year which I'm still umming and aahing about writing about on here but to summarise; it wasn't pleasant, it certainly left me with less self-esteem than I had before and it really did make me question whether my 'good' was actually good enough. 

I've held onto this feeling since last September time and it's made a lot of things difficult for me; I've not wanted to plan anything, for anybody, ever again. I worry that if I do whatever I've planned won't live up to their expectations. It's also made me question if I'm a 'good enough' girlfriend or 'good enough' daughter. It's been a fun six months, not. 

I raised this with my therapist a few weeks back and within moments she had worked back through my life and helped me realise, in addition to the trigger from last year, what events in my childhood might relate to that feeling of always needing to be perfect where just 'okay' or 'mediocre' doesn't cut it for me. Everything has to be perfect; perfectly timed, perfectly placed; perfectly presented. Don't get me wrong, 9/10 it isn't but that's when I struggle. I struggle to accept anything besides the best and I really beat myself up over it sometimes and this was a part of me that I really wanted to alter.

Ultimately, I wanted to care less what people thought, I wanted to be totally content with knowing I did my best and that I can't control people's feelings or thoughts, you can't please all the people all of the time and I don't want to be my own worst enemy or critic, basically. 

The event last year has made overcoming this hurdle a little more difficult than it may have been otherwise, I could have easily said 'well, what's the worst that could happen if they think it's not good enough?' but for me, the worst thing that could have happened last year did happen so that's not really a reassuring question to ask myself right now. 

What is helping though is getting back on the horse so to speak. I was fearful of having to plan anything again after last year and I really didn't ever want to be in charge of someone else's enjoyment or happiness due to the pressure that came with it. This became tricky to avoid when my boss asked me to plan our next evening social event at work, I couldn't exactly say 'nah, don't fancy it, sorry'. I had to come through. I started to feel some of the same feelings that the event last year had given me and I worked really hard to overcome any anxiety or panic over whether my colleagues will enjoy what I'd organised or not. I started by accepting the fact that these people are my professional colleagues and they would be grateful for a nice meal and a pint in the pub after work so anything in addition to that would be great.

I ended up planning a murder mystery game which we all played over dinner at one of the pubs in town, everyone had a laugh and I received the kindest feedback from people including senior management after the event. That was my first step towards realising that my good is good enough, the more positive affirmations I have of that the more I will gain confidence in myself again.

When it comes down to it, the problem lies in the thought itself really; my best/good isn't good enough. Good enough for...who? Them? Whose standards/expecations am I working towards exactly? That's when I realised that all that mattered was whether my best/good was good enough for me. I had to accept that no, I can't please everybody but a lot of the time they will be pleased because I am learning not everyone's expecations of me are anywhere near as high as the expectations I place on myself so as long as I am happy with what I've done/created/achieved then to heck what other people think!

How I Stay Positive

Staying positive is hard, really hard, especially when it feels like life is throwing the worst kinds of curveballs at you and it takes everything you have to keep calm and carry on. One of my goals for 2019 though was to think positively and for the most-part I have been doing okay at it! 

I try not to compare myself to others

I say try because it's something I actually find really difficult sometimes. Having anxiety makes me doubt things - a lot - and one of those things is usually myself, that means if I have a bad day when I think I'm not good enough I look around me and go 'oh, well she's good enough, she's got her shit together' etc. What I have to constantly remind myself is that I don't know that person's story either, they might look like they have it together on the outside (cos I know that's how I look the majority of the time, even when I don't) but they're most likely struggling with things too. I just tell myself to keep doing me because that's all I'm in control of. 

Be kind to myself

Before I began attending counselling for my anxiety I used to 'manage' it myself, a lot of the time that was me putting myself down for feeling and acting the way I did. I'd tell myself I was being 'stupid' and I'd be really overly apologetic for the way I was feeling. Luckily, counselling really helped me to be kinder to myself. I now tell myself that I'm doing my best and that I am making effort and trying and I don't let anyone tell me any differently. 

Better myself physically, mentally and spiritually
Since beginning to attend fitness classes in January I've really noticed the positive effect this has had on my mental health as well as the effect it has physically. The old 'exercise = endorphins' is true and it really works. I feel great after a workout like I've accomplished something and noticing the physical effects on my body helps massively with my self-esteem and confidence. Practising mindfulness and incorporating meditation and yoga into my routine when possible has also helped to get a hold of my thoughts and feel more in control.

Taking care of myself before others
My friends, family and boyfriend are by far the most important people in my life and nine times out of ten I will always put theirs needs before mine, there is that one occasion though when I'm unable to do that and that's because in the long run it would be detrimental to my own health. Don't get me wrong, these occasions are few and far between but I find that being honest is the best way to handle these situations. If my boyfriend wants to go somewhere or do something and I'm not feeling it I've learnt to just be honest and say I'd rather chill out by myself and have some me-time instead of just saying yes to please him.

I'm learning to let go of things I can't control 
If you have generalised anxiety then you'll know that not being in control is scary, something that's contributed to keeping a positive attitude is to really try to understand and accept that I can't control everyone or everything. There is so much I can't control but those are always the things I worry about the most, what I'm trying to do is to accept that i can only control one person: myself. I can't control other people's actions but I can control how I handle them.

How are you living a more positive life? I'd love to know your tips and tricks to keep positive, share them below in the comments :)

How To Start A Healthy Routine

It didn't really dawn on me that my routine was out of whack until I'd lived with my boyfriend for around six months. Before then, I'd always lived with my parents (with the exception of an 8-month stint in a 1 bedroom flat a few years ago when I thought I could afford to live alone - spoiler, I couldn't.)

Before we moved in together my boyfriend lived just over an hour from me so the location we moved to was half-way between us and a completely new town to both of us. I'd visited once before we moved here and it definitely took a while for me to realise that I wasn't adjusting as easily as I'd hoped and that's not because I don't love living where we do or that I don't enjoy living with my boyfriend because I really do, I think it was just because it turned my life upside down.

Routine helps with feeling settled when you might otherwise feel a little out of your comfort zone and it can really be a great tool for managing your mental health. I want to share what I've done to carve out a new routine for myself and also what I'd like to do over the coming months myself - hopefully some of this helps.

5. HEALTHY EATING & DRINKING
It's a bit of a no-brainer that to start a new healthy routine you'd need to eat healthier and cut down on alcohol which is proven to have a very negative effect on mental health. Now, I am not a fruit or veg girl, it's terrible I know but I struggle to get my 5-a-day in (heck, I struggle with 5-a-week) but that doesn't mean you can't still eat well. I've cut out junk food and most processed foods and I stick very loosely to a Slimming World plan to give my diet some structure; in all honesty we love so many SW recipes and snacks so it's not difficult. Following a healthy living plan will become part of your daily routine and you'll start to form new eating habits in no time.

4. WORKOUT REGULARLY
Making exercise a part of your routine will take feeling good about yourself to a new level. As I was completely new to the area we moved to I was keen to join a new gym so that I'd be able to get into a new fitness routine...the only problem is I hate the gym and really didn't enjoy it. I stopped going and got into a bit of a rut about working out, I was in desperate need of finding some form of exercise that I enjoyed. Luckily I stumbled across an amazing fitness instructor who runs 8 different classes a week in a school hall only 5 minutes from our house - it couldn't have worked out better.

I now do Barre, Pound, Fight, Zumba, Clubbercise and a Full Body Workout class each and every week. It's probably my favourite part of my new routine as through these classes I've met some wonderful women and it's really made our new area start to feel like home. It also makes me appreciate the 3x days I get off from classes each week!

3. START A NEW HABIT
One way to make your routine interesting it to start doing something completely new and different. When your surroundings and circumstances change it can feel like the easiest thing to do is to revert back to your old routine to make everything feel somewhat normal again but it's probably the best opportunity to take up a new hobby. I started practicing yoga and blogging again and have tried to make both of these activities part of my routine. Why not start reading more or incorporating a daily walk into your routine?

2. TRY AND STICK TO A BEDTIME
I know bedtime sounds like it's for 5-year-old's but I think it's a really important part of a daily routine and definitely one that I've not nailed myself yet and still struggle with. Sleep is crazy important for mental health, it's the one time a day we can give our brains and bodies a rest and ensuring we get enough sleep is really important. I always try and turn off the telly each evening at 10pm, my boyfriend will usually watch something on his iPad for a further 20-25 minutes whilst I get ready for bed and then I'm in bed by 10:30pm at the latest. The problem is we then sit in bed and watch silly YouTube videos for a while or we'll play with the cat or end up chatting about something or other. It can be 11:30pm or even midnight before we go to sleep and then we're both up again at 6:30/7am for work. I'm slowly starting to realise I'm just not getting enough hours.

To correct this, I'm going to start switching off from 10pm onwards so that means limiting the time on my phone and not putting the television on in the bedroom before we go to sleep. I also want to start reading more and winding down before bed. One of our worst habits is my boyfriend going on Reddit or me going on social media then going to bed and going 'oh my god did you hear this story about that guy that did this? Look at this video! Look at this gif!' etc.

1. HAVE A MORNING ROUTINE MAPPED OUT
This goes hand-in-hand with the previous tip and because I haven't got the night routine figured out I haven't really got my morning one sorted yet but that doesn't mean I don't have good intentions set out.

If you've had a good night's sleep it's very likely that getting up earlier will be easier, that's just science (maybe?). I was actually doing really well in the new year and I'd get up half an hour earlier,  do ten minutes of yoga whilst the cat ate her breakfast, then I'd sort my breakfast, lunch and snacks out for work before getting ready. This meant I wasn't rushing round the house like a mad woman, I'd had a morning stretch and I was never late for work and that's all down to getting up just half an hour earlier.

If you suss out your evening/night routine and get enough sleep, setting your alarm for half an hour earlier the next day will only have a positive affect on your day and that's what I'm intending to try out this week!

My Counselling Journey So Far...

It's a strange one is counselling. It's a place where you go and completely spill the contents of your head to a complete stranger who you can only hope is not going to stare at you like you've got three eyes and a wooden leg by the time you're finished talking.

Good news, counselling isn't anything like that. Four days ago I completed my sixth session with my therapist and now I have a two week break as she's on holiday and I won't lie, I feel a little nervous but also really keen to see how I get on going it completely solo for a couple of weeks.

Counselling for me was a no-brainer after Christmas and New Year when I felt like my anxiety was controlling me and I wasn't controlling it anymore, so I decided to do something about it and found a lovely therapist jusy five minutes down the road who can see me after work.

The first thing I'll say about my journey is that it's a slow one. I've had years of 'managing' my anxiety myself without any professional  help and in that time I've probably developed a ton of unhealthy habits and routines that I continued to use for managing my mental illness so I always knew it was going to take a long time to unpick and unravel the knot that had formed in my mind - but we're getting there.

The first few sessions my therapist spent getting to know me, we spoke in particular about an event last year that I feel brought my anxiety back to the surface again. We spent three sessions on that event and worked our way through it piece by piece and as each week went by I felt a little lighter. By the time we'd worked our way through that issue we mutually agreed that we had spent enough time and energy on it and I finally felt as though I had closure to a situation that had caused me lot of pain and heartache for months.

The problem was that my anxiety didn't dissipate instantly following that closure, it's so deep-rooted that I can't switch it on or off as anyone with a mental illness will know. It's there and sometimes it's quiet and shuts up and let's me live my life and other times it doesn't.

Counselling has helped me to manage those difficult days. It provides me with a validation and reassurance that I so desperately needed and that only a professional can provide. It made me realise my thoughts and feelings are valid and even though they're not pleasant and I want to work towards banishing them as much as I can I felt as though someone finally got me.

Don't get me wrong, there have been the odd day where I've left counselling feeling exhausted because you know, trawling through the inner workings of your mind can be knackering but I've never left a session feeling heavier or more negatively than I did when I walked in.

The one mistake I made before when I had counselling a few years ago was giving up when I felt 'better' - even if I'm having a good day now I still take myself off to my session as there's always something to work through and to improve upon and I know that realistically I'll probably continue attending for quite a long time. Even if i reduce my sessions to once fortnightly or even once a month, it's 50 minutes where I'm grounded and can focus on myself.

Counselling is something we should all do for ourselves if we feel we need it - a lot of us spend so much time focusing on other people; on work, on kids etc but sometimes we need to physically allocate time in our diaries for ourselves and counselling is just that.