Staying positive is hard, really hard, especially when it feels like life is throwing the worst kinds of curveballs at you and it takes everything you have to keep calm and carry on. One of my goals for 2019 though was to think positively and for the most-part I have been doing okay at it!
I try not to compare myself to others
I say try because it's something I actually find really difficult sometimes. Having anxiety makes me doubt things - a lot - and one of those things is usually myself, that means if I have a bad day when I think I'm not good enough I look around me and go 'oh, well she's good enough, she's got her shit together' etc. What I have to constantly remind myself is that I don't know that person's story either, they might look like they have it together on the outside (cos I know that's how I look the majority of the time, even when I don't) but they're most likely struggling with things too. I just tell myself to keep doing me because that's all I'm in control of.
Be kind to myself
Before I began attending counselling for my anxiety I used to 'manage' it myself, a lot of the time that was me putting myself down for feeling and acting the way I did. I'd tell myself I was being 'stupid' and I'd be really overly apologetic for the way I was feeling. Luckily, counselling really helped me to be kinder to myself. I now tell myself that I'm doing my best and that I am making effort and trying and I don't let anyone tell me any differently.
Since beginning to attend fitness classes in January I've really noticed the positive effect this has had on my mental health as well as the effect it has physically. The old 'exercise = endorphins' is true and it really works. I feel great after a workout like I've accomplished something and noticing the physical effects on my body helps massively with my self-esteem and confidence. Practising mindfulness and incorporating meditation and yoga into my routine when possible has also helped to get a hold of my thoughts and feel more in control.
Taking care of myself before others
My friends, family and boyfriend are by far the most important people in my life and nine times out of ten I will always put theirs needs before mine, there is that one occasion though when I'm unable to do that and that's because in the long run it would be detrimental to my own health. Don't get me wrong, these occasions are few and far between but I find that being honest is the best way to handle these situations. If my boyfriend wants to go somewhere or do something and I'm not feeling it I've learnt to just be honest and say I'd rather chill out by myself and have some me-time instead of just saying yes to please him.
I'm learning to let go of things I can't control
If you have generalised anxiety then you'll know that not being in control is scary, something that's contributed to keeping a positive attitude is to really try to understand and accept that I can't control everyone or everything. There is so much I can't control but those are always the things I worry about the most, what I'm trying to do is to accept that i can only control one person: myself. I can't control other people's actions but I can control how I handle them.
How are you living a more positive life? I'd love to know your tips and tricks to keep positive, share them below in the comments :)
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