It didn't really dawn on me that my routine was out of whack until I'd lived with my boyfriend for around six months. Before then, I'd always lived with my parents (with the exception of an 8-month stint in a 1 bedroom flat a few years ago when I thought I could afford to live alone - spoiler, I couldn't.)

Before we moved in together my boyfriend lived just over an hour from me so the location we moved to was half-way between us and a completely new town to both of us. I'd visited once before we moved here and it definitely took a while for me to realise that I wasn't adjusting as easily as I'd hoped and that's not because I don't love living where we do or that I don't enjoy living with my boyfriend because I really do, I think it was just because it turned my life upside down.

Routine helps with feeling settled when you might otherwise feel a little out of your comfort zone and it can really be a great tool for managing your mental health. I want to share what I've done to carve out a new routine for myself and also what I'd like to do over the coming months myself - hopefully some of this helps.

5. HEALTHY EATING & DRINKING
It's a bit of a no-brainer that to start a new healthy routine you'd need to eat healthier and cut down on alcohol which is proven to have a very negative effect on mental health. Now, I am not a fruit or veg girl, it's terrible I know but I struggle to get my 5-a-day in (heck, I struggle with 5-a-week) but that doesn't mean you can't still eat well. I've cut out junk food and most processed foods and I stick very loosely to a Slimming World plan to give my diet some structure; in all honesty we love so many SW recipes and snacks so it's not difficult. Following a healthy living plan will become part of your daily routine and you'll start to form new eating habits in no time.

4. WORKOUT REGULARLY
Making exercise a part of your routine will take feeling good about yourself to a new level. As I was completely new to the area we moved to I was keen to join a new gym so that I'd be able to get into a new fitness routine...the only problem is I hate the gym and really didn't enjoy it. I stopped going and got into a bit of a rut about working out, I was in desperate need of finding some form of exercise that I enjoyed. Luckily I stumbled across an amazing fitness instructor who runs 8 different classes a week in a school hall only 5 minutes from our house - it couldn't have worked out better.

I now do Barre, Pound, Fight, Zumba, Clubbercise and a Full Body Workout class each and every week. It's probably my favourite part of my new routine as through these classes I've met some wonderful women and it's really made our new area start to feel like home. It also makes me appreciate the 3x days I get off from classes each week!

3. START A NEW HABIT
One way to make your routine interesting it to start doing something completely new and different. When your surroundings and circumstances change it can feel like the easiest thing to do is to revert back to your old routine to make everything feel somewhat normal again but it's probably the best opportunity to take up a new hobby. I started practicing yoga and blogging again and have tried to make both of these activities part of my routine. Why not start reading more or incorporating a daily walk into your routine?

2. TRY AND STICK TO A BEDTIME
I know bedtime sounds like it's for 5-year-old's but I think it's a really important part of a daily routine and definitely one that I've not nailed myself yet and still struggle with. Sleep is crazy important for mental health, it's the one time a day we can give our brains and bodies a rest and ensuring we get enough sleep is really important. I always try and turn off the telly each evening at 10pm, my boyfriend will usually watch something on his iPad for a further 20-25 minutes whilst I get ready for bed and then I'm in bed by 10:30pm at the latest. The problem is we then sit in bed and watch silly YouTube videos for a while or we'll play with the cat or end up chatting about something or other. It can be 11:30pm or even midnight before we go to sleep and then we're both up again at 6:30/7am for work. I'm slowly starting to realise I'm just not getting enough hours.

To correct this, I'm going to start switching off from 10pm onwards so that means limiting the time on my phone and not putting the television on in the bedroom before we go to sleep. I also want to start reading more and winding down before bed. One of our worst habits is my boyfriend going on Reddit or me going on social media then going to bed and going 'oh my god did you hear this story about that guy that did this? Look at this video! Look at this gif!' etc.

1. HAVE A MORNING ROUTINE MAPPED OUT
This goes hand-in-hand with the previous tip and because I haven't got the night routine figured out I haven't really got my morning one sorted yet but that doesn't mean I don't have good intentions set out.

If you've had a good night's sleep it's very likely that getting up earlier will be easier, that's just science (maybe?). I was actually doing really well in the new year and I'd get up half an hour earlier,  do ten minutes of yoga whilst the cat ate her breakfast, then I'd sort my breakfast, lunch and snacks out for work before getting ready. This meant I wasn't rushing round the house like a mad woman, I'd had a morning stretch and I was never late for work and that's all down to getting up just half an hour earlier.

If you suss out your evening/night routine and get enough sleep, setting your alarm for half an hour earlier the next day will only have a positive affect on your day and that's what I'm intending to try out this week!

My Counselling Journey So Far...

It's a strange one is counselling. It's a place where you go and completely spill the contents of your head to a complete stranger who you can only hope is not going to stare at you like you've got three eyes and a wooden leg by the time you're finished talking.

Good news, counselling isn't anything like that. Four days ago I completed my sixth session with my therapist and now I have a two week break as she's on holiday and I won't lie, I feel a little nervous but also really keen to see how I get on going it completely solo for a couple of weeks.

Counselling for me was a no-brainer after Christmas and New Year when I felt like my anxiety was controlling me and I wasn't controlling it anymore, so I decided to do something about it and found a lovely therapist jusy five minutes down the road who can see me after work.

The first thing I'll say about my journey is that it's a slow one. I've had years of 'managing' my anxiety myself without any professional  help and in that time I've probably developed a ton of unhealthy habits and routines that I continued to use for managing my mental illness so I always knew it was going to take a long time to unpick and unravel the knot that had formed in my mind - but we're getting there.

The first few sessions my therapist spent getting to know me, we spoke in particular about an event last year that I feel brought my anxiety back to the surface again. We spent three sessions on that event and worked our way through it piece by piece and as each week went by I felt a little lighter. By the time we'd worked our way through that issue we mutually agreed that we had spent enough time and energy on it and I finally felt as though I had closure to a situation that had caused me lot of pain and heartache for months.

The problem was that my anxiety didn't dissipate instantly following that closure, it's so deep-rooted that I can't switch it on or off as anyone with a mental illness will know. It's there and sometimes it's quiet and shuts up and let's me live my life and other times it doesn't.

Counselling has helped me to manage those difficult days. It provides me with a validation and reassurance that I so desperately needed and that only a professional can provide. It made me realise my thoughts and feelings are valid and even though they're not pleasant and I want to work towards banishing them as much as I can I felt as though someone finally got me.

Don't get me wrong, there have been the odd day where I've left counselling feeling exhausted because you know, trawling through the inner workings of your mind can be knackering but I've never left a session feeling heavier or more negatively than I did when I walked in.

The one mistake I made before when I had counselling a few years ago was giving up when I felt 'better' - even if I'm having a good day now I still take myself off to my session as there's always something to work through and to improve upon and I know that realistically I'll probably continue attending for quite a long time. Even if i reduce my sessions to once fortnightly or even once a month, it's 50 minutes where I'm grounded and can focus on myself.

Counselling is something we should all do for ourselves if we feel we need it - a lot of us spend so much time focusing on other people; on work, on kids etc but sometimes we need to physically allocate time in our diaries for ourselves and counselling is just that.

I Blogged My Anxiety Attack

Right now as I'm typing this post my heart is racing. I can feel myself heading into fight or flight mode and I'm aware of that because all I want to do right now is be somewhere safe. Whether that's under my duvet or having a hug from my mum, my brain is starting to send signals to my body saying 'nope, nice try pal, I'm not having any of that, I'm out'.

It started with worrying about money. Today is payday and I am in a sticky situation with my finances right now so I managed to work myself up in a frenzy this morning which lead to me messaging my boyfriend, mum and best friend about it. I also ended up on Google, looking at forums and getting myself into a right tiz and before I knew it I couldn't stop the barrage of negative, snowballing thoughts which flooded my head.

It's hard to explain as even though you might struggle with anxiety yourself, all anxieties are different. My anxiety is different to yours and yours is different to the next person's and so on, so I will try and explain what an anxiety attack is like for me.

WHAT ATTACKS FEEL LIKE FOR ME

An attack for me is like watching a really crappy straight-to-DVD movie; but it's about my future. I'll be sat at work, minding my own business and then I'll think of payday and my money situation, before you know it I've watched the next 5 years of my life play out in my mind. I envisage my friends being so ashamed of me that they slowly phase me out, I imagine my parents feeling disappointed that they have to support a daughter in her late 20s and I picture my boyfriend's face as realization dawns on him that there's other women out there who don't have these problems.

The hard part is being strict with myself and telling myself that these are simply thoughts that entered my head and they are not factual things that have actually happened but that' easier said than done. I feel the panic course through my body when I have thoughts like that and it's a real effort to stay grounded, stay in my seat and to let it pass over. The comfort lies in the many times I've suffered attacks before and have come out okay the other side and by 'okay' I mean able to rationalise and think more logically.

Today I also tried writing down my feelings. I physically put pen to paper and wrote down how I felt in that moment. I then did a conference call, went to the loo and came back to the piece of paper and re-read it. It made me sad to think that I'd genuinely thought that negatively, even just for 2 or 3 minutes and in a way, that's good. I didn't come back, read the paper and agree. I'll never invalidate my own thoughts because part of my management of my anxiety is to stop using the words 'stupid' or 'ridiculous' to describe my thoughts or feelings because that creates more of a conflict against the anxious part of my brain which is trying to convince me of the opposite. I just try to acknowledge them as 'anxious thoughts' and that's where I leave it. When you're fighting anxiety the last thing you want to do is feed it by putting yourself down by throwing around words like 'stupid.'

THE AFTERMATH

Now that an hour or so has passed I'm starting to see the haze clear a little (because that's also what an attack is like for me, it's like a foggy day where you can't really make sense of anything and are just stumbling around in the dark for a bit looking for something to hold onto). I can begin to see things for what they really are; including myself. I begin to give myself more credit and respect again without just putting myself down and I begin to try and see all of the positive attributes I hold as a person and I try really hard to let go of the things I'd been telling myself an hour before in the middle of the attack.

I also feel proud that I didn't act on my attack. There have been days where I've needed to leave work or call my boyfriend and unleash nonsense down the phone at him to console myself but I am proud that today I dealt with it - and survived. On top of the anxiety I don't have the added embarrassment of having to drop everything and go home and nor do I have to enter into a difficult conversation with my boyfriend or friends about it which can sometimes drag the attack out and ultimately makes me suffer more before I finally get over it.

Thinking and living more positively was pretty much my only goal for this year and I think even on the days like today when things get so hard I feel at breaking point it's important to acknowledge even the smallest of triumphs.

A New Start

For so long I've been trying to think of reader-friendly blog posts to write; whether they be about my hair care routine, somewhere we visited at the weekend or home decor tips I just didn't feel like my heart was into it. It seemed forced and false when what is really filling up my head each day are much more mundane matters (not that I don't love a hair care flat-lay, so no disrespect intended).

I want to write a post and not have to worry about the word count or taking the perfect picture for a blog header because I want to start writing posts for me. I want to tell stories from my life and I want to write to share my experience of dealing with anxiety or trying to stick to my Slimming World diet. There are so many days where I feel like writing about those things but worry they won't be interesting to read...then I ask myself well, who cares? This blog has my name on it and it's my small space on the internet so I need to use it for my benefit; as an outlet for my thoughts and feelings - whatever they may be!

Don't get me wrong, I will 100% be sharing my hair care routine at some point because it's only taken me 20+ years to find one that actually works for me but I also want to share other snippets of my life that aren't as picture perfect.

So that's what this post is all about, it's me refreshing and resetting the purpose of this blog and I am super excited for what's to come!

Adopting A Cat

I'm 100% a self-confessed cat person and have been lucky enough to have them as pets since I was little. Until August of this year I lived at home with my parents and two years ago we adopted a gorgeous ginger tom-cat from Battersea Cats & Dogs Home, before Red we had Scampi who was the kitten from a family member's cat so Red was the first cat we'd ever rehomed/adopted.

ADOPTING WHEN YOU RENT

I knew as soon as my boyfriend and I had our own house that I wanted to give a furry friend a new home, it was just a case of whether we could or not as we were renting. My boyfriend has always been a dog person but with both of us working full time it just wasn't fair to have a pet who needed a lot of attention all of the time, whereas we knew a cat would be happy chilling in the day whilst we're out at work. 

I wasn't really sure when the right time to reach out to our letting agents would be - I didn't want them to think that we weren't serious tenants by asking for a pet only a few months into our tenancy but then i saw the Cats Protection 'Purrfect Landlords' campaign and it gave me the boost and confidence I needed to ask the question.

The campaign is fantastic - it's all about asking landlords to consider their tenants to allow cats, especially with more and more people renting properties and bearing in mind the fact a pet can really make a house feel like a home it's a really awesome campaign with lots of tips and advice for both landlords and tenants (both private and social housing) looking to rehome.

VISITING A SHELTER

Luckily, our landlord was very quick to reply and say yes to us having a cat and we immediately started looking to find the perfect third member of our little family. We're lucky to both work just down the road from a Cats Protection shelter and that was our first point of call, we'd had a browse on the website and decided to just head down there and see who was around. Constantly refreshing the website I noticed a new name and face on there I'd not seen the last few times I'd looked - a gorgeous tabby cat called NooNoo (lol). I immediately forwarded the link to my boyfriend and he told me to go see her straight away! I'd booked a half day off work already and as soon as I'd finished I drove down to the CP shelter in Newbury and paid NooNoo a visit.

Saying I fell in love was an understatement, I spent about 15 minutes in her company and she was already asleep on my lap and I knew she was the one for us. I reserved her and agreed with the amazing team that work at the shelter to visit again the next day with my BF in tow.

It took him all of 5 minutes to become smitten with her and it was quickly decided that she was the one for us and we were the one for her.

THE ADOPTION PROCESS

At places like Cat's Protection they do so much to prepare the kitties for their new homes. They're checked out by vets as soon as they're brought in and have any treatments done that they need - our girl had almost all of her teeth removed as she'd lived as a stray for a long time before she ended up at CP Newbury but they have all the relevant tests done and get signed off as healthy before they're rehomed.

You also get 4 weeks free pet insurance and you get to take home any toys or blankets that they had with them. You're provided information on the litter they like, the food they eat and any personality traits they might have (some don't like other cats or small children for example). One thing I was sure of though is that all the cats in the care of these lovely people are well looked after.

Adopting NooNoo - now named Lady Nermal aka Nellie - was one of the best choices we've made as a couple and is definitely going to make for an exciting Christmas. She's already settled in after only 5 days with us and has so much love to give, loving cardboard boxes and cuddling up on the sofa and the end of the bed. Make sure to give her a follow on Instagram @ladynermal to see what she gets up to!

If you'd like me to share more tips on rehoming a cat, especially in rented accommodation then let me know!

FILL YOUR STOCKINGS: BURT'S BEES

With chapped lips and hands being the bane of so many peoples lives this winter Burt's Bees is probably one of the most helpful and useful gifts out there, so team that with smelling and tasting super good and you've got the ultimate stocking filler or Secret Santa gift. Here's a round up of my favourites from their winter range.

A Bit of Burt's Bees in Coconut & Pear, £5.99

This little beauty is a double-whammy, not only do you get one of Burt's gorgeous Coconut & Pear (omg yum) lip balm but you also get a mini tin of Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream to keep your fingers and nails looking tip top in the harsh weather. I've never been one for looking after my hands which is kind of silly of me I suppose as I also never wear gloves when I'm out in the cold, so my fingernails are going to be grateful for some much needed TLC this winter.

Beeswax Bounty, £12.99

If you're undecisive, like moi or perhaps you're not sure which flavour your mum or best mate will like the most then you can go no wrong with the Beeswax Bounty collection. This adorable looking gift set contains four scrummy flavours; classic Beeswax, Pomegranate, Mango & my personal fave Vanilla Bean. These are my go-to when it comes to lip products, I'm super lazy with my makeup when I go to work or the gym and most of the time I just use some CC cream and then one of these bad boys for some light coverage and most importantly some much needed moisture.

Endless Shine Trio, £9.99

As I just mentioned, I love Burt's classic lip balms for work or the gym but when it comes to a slightly more fancy occasion like dinner or drinks with friends then I opt for one of these beauties. Not only do they come in 3 gorgeous, natural shades but they also contain Apricot Wax and Sunflower Seed Oil to keep your lips moisturized and silky smooth which you know, is kind of what Burt does best!

Nature's Kiss, £9.99

This product is probably my absolute fave out of them all. This duo has you covered from all angles as it contains a gorgeous lip crayon in shade 'Sedona Sands' which gives the most gorgeous full-coverage matte colour plus a Lip Shimmer stick in 'Peony'. The lip crayons, of course, have their fair share of goodness, containing Shea butter and jojoba oil to add moisture without being too heavy. I love to mix and match this product with the Endless Shine Trio, using the lip crayon as a base and then pairing a Shine Trio gloss over it for the perfect finish.

*This post contains PR samples.

24 HOURS IN PARIS

If you were reading my blog just over a year ago you'd remember that I travelled to Paris with my best friend for a girly weekend away in the city. I also mentioned in my post that unfortunately we happened to be in the centre of Paris on the night of the awful terror attacks on the Bataclan theatre, the Stade de France and nearby cafe's and restaurants.

Despite it being a rather tense, worrying day/night holed up in our hotel room watching everything unfold on the telly and then having to leave first thing the next day, Paris was one of the most beautiful places I'd visited and still remains top of my list of cities to visit (again) and I wanted to share with you the things I would love to see and do this time round if I was given just 24 hours in the city of luurrve,

NOTRE DAME

This was top of my list of things to see when in Paris, even above the good old Eiffel Tower and the main reason I want to visit is yep, you guessed it, the Disney movie. We crossed a bridge on our first day in the city last year  - the old padlock bridge to be precise - when we were just exploring, making a list of things to do during the weekend and I saw Notre Dame towering over the Paris skyline and just felt so excited and giddy. I'm all about that gothic architecture and seeing the Gargoyles in real life is definitely on my bucket list, even if they don't sing or dance much to my disappointment.

THE CATACOMBS

I'm a sucker when it comes to all thing eerie and creepy and I don't think it can get much creepier than ancient tunnels which run underneath the streets of Paris and holds the remains of more than six million people, can it? The endless rumours of weird goings on and ghostly sightings down in the tunnels makes it one of the most interesting and fascinating locations on my Paris to-do list.

THE LOUVRE

This was another spot that we wandered along to and mentally added it to our sightseeing list in Paris. I've never been a massive art gallery fan despite having a love for all things design, weird I know, but the Louvre is just a must-see mainly due to a few of these classics: Mona Lisa, Liberty Leading the People and Nymph and Satyr just to name a few. I also don't know if you've seen Passport to Paris with Mary-Kate and Ashley but that's also another reason for wanting to see a gallery.

FOOD

Of course, there's only 24 hours in the day and along with wanting to see classics such as the Eiffel Tower and my faves above there's only one other thing to do on a city break and that is to eat and drink until you can't eat or drink any more. One of my favourite things about the city was the amount of quiet, narrow alleyways which contained some of the cutest looking cafe's and restaurants. I'd make it my mission next time round to stop at multiple for a different course, finishing up with a Nutella crepe of course because I am one classy mademoiselle. 

Which city would you love to visit if you had only 24 hours?!

HOW TO GET BACK ON THE WORKOUT WAGON

Now this is a story all about how...I fell off the wagon and stopped eating healthy or going to the gym. You know that classic tale? Well it happened, the last few months were stressful as heck, I went to America and ate my body-weight in mac and cheese for fourteen days straight (no regrets though my friends, no regrets) and now it is nearly December and I am not yet ready to let myself go entirely for the festive season.

It's time to get back on the wagon and get my arse into gear (and a size or two smaller hopefully) and there are a few ways I've discovered - because yes I've fallen off the wagon before, it happens because life gets in the way ands ometimes when you're not feeling too good dragging yourself to the gym or slicing up an avocado does not appeal and the thought alone drives you into the arms of a bargain bucket .Speaking from experience here.

MAKE YOUR WORKOUTS/GYM TIME ENJOYABLE

So recently I moved out of home, into my own flat in a nearby town and had to quit the gym I loved (yes I just put gym and love in the same sentence, i know, who am i) and join a gym down the road from my new flat. Now the gym I joined was tiny, there were hardly any staff around and to put it plainly, I despised it so obviously ultimately I stopped going. Now I am moving back home (because rent sucks, rent sucks oh and rent sucks) and I am rejoining my fave gym again. 

Long story short, you won't work out if you don't enjoy the space you're working out in or the workouts you're doing. I am obsessed right now with the instagram account for the New York gym DOGPOUND - it's where Taylor Swift and the Victoria Secret girls work out and it's full of inspiration as far as workouts are concerned. I've made a note of them all and I'll be adding them into my workout routine for sure. 

INSPIRE YOURSELF WHEN IT COMES TO FOOD

I have Pinterested (hello Oxford Dictionary, please make that a verb) the crappola out of recipes and meal ideas lately, it's been the holy grail for making me excited to eat better. After pinning a thousand and one recipes to my board I'll make a shopping list & meal plan for a week with breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack ideas. I did even not realise until I looked into it how many exciting things could be done with a sweet potato and of course it instantly dispelled the myth about eating healthy meaning all you could do was knaw on salads day in day out. 

DITCH THE 'DIET'

I used to be a sucker for this one, even recently I tried out Slimming World which did help me lose some weight but after I fell off the wagon and was ready to hop back on I decided that SW wasn't the path I was going to take. I understand how it works for a lot of people but personally for me it was limiting in the sense that it stopped me from having food that I knew wasn't bad for me like avocado (sorry, this post is not sponsored by the great gods of avocado it's just cropped up a lot) and I didn't want to feel like I couldn't eat something, I never want to feel like that. 

Diets like Slimming World do provide you with tools and keys to help when it comes to ditching their plan and going it on your own though which I will give them full credit for. However, diets that include cutting our carbs and such are just not great in the long-term, you need to think of the way you eat as a lifestyle choice and not a diet. 

Getting back on the wagon can be hard, especially if you've been off a while but there's never a bad time to get back on. What are your tips for getting back on track after a break?

4 THRILLERS ON MY READING LIST THIS WINTER

When it's freezing and dark outside, all I want to do is make myself a cup of tea and curl up on the sofa with a good book (yes I am intact an 80-year-old woman). Of course, me being me it has to be a thriller, something grizzly, creepy and exciting is a must cos you know, six years of watching The Walking Dead has really upped my standards when it comes to gore and horror so it takes a lot to creep me out.

Luckily, this perfect little foursome of novels fits the bill. My weird, worryingly morbid bill. Over the next week or so I'm going to be working my way through these beauties and of course sharing my thoughts with you about each one individually. I've just finished The Widow in a 24-hour sesh as it was SO good I couldn't put it down, literally, I was stirring pasta sauce over the hob with one hand and had the book in the other! 

Here's a little blurb about each one to get you interested and stay tuned for more on these as I work my way through them!